Review:

Born as the 6th of 7 children in a Charedi Jewish family in Glasgow, Yehudis Fletcher knew from a young age that she was not loved. Desperate to earn the approval of her parents and community, she did everything possible to please them, suffering forced marriages, beatings, and even sexual abuse in an attempt to conform.

But Yehudis also had a secret, rebellious side: a side which trusted in her personal connection to God, unfiltered through the layers of social customs imposed on her. Somehow, she knew, there must be a way to stay in the religious community she loved, while also remaining true to who she was.

The autiobiography is harrowing (as you would expect given what Yehudis went through), but very well-written. Scenes are full of evocative details and direct quotes from people in Yehudis's life. Despite the level of detail, the book is also fast-paced due to the author's judicious selection of events. The book's structure makes sense, flowing chronologically and smoothly through Yehudis's life.

There are two main themes spelled out by the blurb: Todros's sexual abuse, and Yehudis being a lesbian. 

Yehudis's choice to speak out about the abuse radiates outwards during the book. Her descriptions of how this act's echoes continue even a decade later emphasize what it's like living in such a small community with a nitro-powered rumour mill.

As for Yehudis being a lesbian, it's bittersweet: initially bitter as Yehudis struggles with the discovery that she's gay, but then sweet as she realizes that this truth is leading her towards a happier life.

I highly recommend getting the audiobook, which Yehudis narrates herself. She's a great narrator, changing her tone from drily witty to mournful to joyous as the text calls for it.

Other random comments: I love the cover! Despite the book being published in 2025, the torn-paper cover image immediately reminds me of some 1980s/1990s Jewish books on my bookshelf.

Despite the revolting scenes of abuse, this book left me feeling happy. I'm happy for Yehudis, who fought against such huge odds and ended up creating a better life for herself. I'm also happy that she founded Nahamu to protect other people like her, and that her story is inspiring people in the Charedi community to make sure that its members get all their civil rights (not just their religious ones).

I totally recommend this book, but please check the content warnings so you know what you're in for.